On saying goodbye to puppies and kings, how towels are like duck tape, and a new standard for beauty

Dear friends and family,

Tragic news! Pippin the puppy is gone, just like that. No ceremony, no goodbye. A neighbour came by, put him in a plastic bag, and walked away. Who will be next? Milka (the chocolate coloured puppy), or Barrie (named for the playwright because he loves to play)? My host mother must have seen the horror on my face because she quickly reassured me “we give one puppy to friend.” I tried to tell myself that he is probably happy in his new home. Since no one here treats animals like pets, maybe I shouldn’t get in the habit of it either, but I can’t help it! I have named the household cat Alacrity; you should see the way she moves when she is chasing lizards in the rafters! The male dog is named Twitchy because he has this perpetually- reoccurring back spasm that causes his whole body to twitch about once a second. This is really annoying, especially when he is under the table and starts rubbing against your leg. Ugh. The mother dog is named Lily. The cat at the office is Joy. My supervisor was very amused to learn that I had named his cat.

My 11 year old host sister saw me watching Tangled on my computer one day, and now constantly asks to watch it. I am glad that I have something to share with her, and honestly, it is better than watching the Korean dramas that are on TV. Speaking of TV, regular programming has return to the television after a week of special broadcasting.  Last week, the King Father of Cambodia died. The country deeply feels this loss, and this past week has been a time of mourning. On television, they showed hours and hours of processions, mourning, speeches, monks chanting, important people from around the world offering their condolences, etc. I’m not sure if it would have been more or less boring to watch if I could understand what they were all saying. Just to give some background about the significance of this figure, he was crowned King in the 40’s when Cambodia was still a French colony. It is believed that the French selected him from among possible candidates because they believed he would be the most malleable and easy to control. However, King Norodom Sihanouk led his country to a peaceful independence from France after gathering support from nations around the world. As such, he is referred to as the father of Cambodia. He was a dynamic, influential, and clever leader. He made the decision to abdicate after a few years to lead a political party which gave him more real power and sway in the country’s politics. Some people claim one of his most important achievements was to keep the country out of Vietnam War for as long as he did. However, Norodom Sihanouk was ousted, and then watched his country descend into war and the terrible Pol Pot years, to be crowned king once more as stability returned. He reigned until 2004 when he abdicated due to poor health, replaced by his son who is still without heir. He King Father was 89 when he passed away. Many wonder now what will happen to the monarchy and unity in Cambodia now that he is gone. They say to can see the face of the old king when you look at the moon.

If Norodom Sihanouk was the father of their nation as Sir John A was ours; their Angkor Wat temple our maple leaf; then the kroma is to Cambodians what duck tape is to Canadians. I was given a kroma for the first time yesterday. That I now have one officially shows that I have spent time in Cambodia. Long before Douglas Adams ever said “you’ve got to know where your towel is”, Cambodians were proving the wisdom of this truth in their daily lives. Now, it is not fair to call a kroma a towel, for it is certainly much much more than a mere towel. It is a piece of checkered cloth, usually red, whose uses are endless. A headscarf to keep the sun off your head when working outdoors (can be tied several ways), a cloth to wipe down the table or remove rice from the fingers of messy kids, women wear it when they go to bathe, often men will wear only a kroma wrapped around their waist in the heat of the afternoon, a scarf to keep the sun off your skin when you drive a moto, and the list grows as long as the creativity of the owner.

But even though I now have a kroma scarf like all Cambodians and FEEL more like I belong, I still stick out in a crowd. How many of you like to be the centre of attention? How many of you know that I do NOT like to be the centre of attention? I thought I knew what I was signing up for when I came here. As one of only 2 foreigners in this village, I get a lot of “hello!”s  and comments about how pretty I am. What I was not expecting was everyone to say how much they love my nose. I know enough now to know when people are talking about me, and not 5 minutes go by after being in a new group of people before someone invariably comments on how beautiful my nose is. Now, to be honest, I’ve never really liked my nose, the size of which I blame on my Mennonite heritage. Not that it has ever been that big of an issue for me… God made me just the way I am, it’s the beauty of the heart that matters, and all that… but everyone has SOMETHING about themselves they wish was different, right? It got me thinking though, why is it that I don’t particularly like my nose? The longer I am here, the more it is obvious that I got that message from society. We’d like to think that there is a universal standard for beauty… that we have the “right” standard, so we don’t have to feel like we are just trying to fit in and please people when we try to stay super skinny, or keep our hair from showing grey, or spend way too much money getting our nails done. Now, I’m not here to get into a debate about natural/instinctive preferences, biology, psychology, and all that. Why do I not find beauty spots on the face with one long hair growing out of it attractive (while some Cambodians do)? Why is it that they love my nose?  Now, maybe they just ‘pick’ on my nose because, let’s face it, they can’t comment on my height, nor is the colour of my hair very striking. But it still raises the question: Where does our standard for beauty come from and should we put as much importance on it as we do? How can we have a change of perspective to really KNOW in our hearts that it is the beauty inside that matters. How can we begin to see people through God’s eyes, without this habit of comparing ourselves with others, and compare others with ourselves?

Before I go for today, let me share with you a verse I came across while reading Hebrews this last week. It doesn’t really have any particular relevance to what I’ve been talking about, but it is just so amazing that I feel the need to share it. Listen to these words of truth:

“So God has given us both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore we who have fled to him for refuge can take new courage, for we can hold on to his promise with confidence. This confidence is like a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain of heaven into God’s inner sanctuary.” Heb 6:18-19.

Yours truly,

Rebecca

Another NGO came to visit ODOV and learn about the work we are doing, as well as some technical skills.

 

Another glorious sunset!

On the effectiveness of oreos as comfort food, building mountains, and the bright side of power outages

Hello fans!

                What an adventure I had last weekend trying to get back to Mesang Village from Phnom Penh city! I went to the city for  MCC’s monthly team meeting. It was a long weekend, so everyone was trying to get out of the city and back to their homes in the provinces. The mini-bus driver to Mesang apparently decided to take a holiday as well, so there was no way for me to get directly back to Mesang. I had to wait an extra day in the city, with nothing to do because everyone I knew was already out visiting other provinces. I was so bored that I started to watch Bride and Prejudice by myself in the office, eating a package of oreo cookies I found at one of the more western supermarkets. But I did make it back eventually, in time to join my family when they went to the wat Monday morning.

The holiday (Pchum ben) started two weeks previously, this Monday being the final day. As far as I understand it (and this is a very basic explanation I am sure), people give food and money on this holiday to pay respect to the spirits of their deceased ancestors, and to keep away bad spirits. Often families will visit several wats where the spirits of their ancestors might be. The wat (like a Buddhist temple or pagoda) was very crowded with families. There was a big roofed but open-walled area where everyone was seated on mats on the floor. My host mother (ma) went to pray and light incense at the front before coming to sit down. Then we went to give rice and other food to the monks. Most families had brought a set of stacking bowls, all filled with cooked rice. We each took one bowl and went to the back of the meeting area, and put a spoonful of rice into each of 7 large bowls. Beside each bowl was a plate where we put some money (equivalent to a few cents). I then walked around outside with ma for a bit around the area where they are building a new temple.  There, people were building “mountains” upon which they placed sticks of incense. Each person added a handful of sand and a sprinkle of water and put a stick of incense into it, so the mountains grew bigger as the day wore on. There was a net bag beside each for giving money. At each of the “mountains”, ma prayed for good luck. When the prayers were finished inside, many families started eating lunch. They ate rest of the rice they had not given to the monks and other food they had brought. But some families that lived close by (such as my family), went home to eat.

It was a fascinating experience going there with my host family, and added to the uniqueness of my homestay. I think it left me with more questions about folk-Buddhism than it did answers. It was difficult for me to ask about the meaning of certain traditions and practices due to language. As a Christian living with a Buddhist family, I have also had to ask myself questions about what is right for me to do, and what is not. But thankfully the Bible is very clear on this. It is OK to eat food that has been offered to spirits; do not bow down to or worship other gods; and so on. Trying to find the line between cultural curiosity and respect, and honouring God has helped solidify what is essential, or “closed-fisted”, about Christianity, and what is not. Living in a country where the overwhelming percentage of the population is Buddhist and there are only a few Christians has helped me better understand the words of apostles on this topic. I found out that there is a church about 15 minutes away (which seems far here), but I am not sure if I am brave enough to go there by myself for the first time, not knowing the language very well. I did hear about another church mostly composed of students; I’d love to find this group as they would be more my age, and are more likely to know a bit of English.

Going back now to the topic of food… you all know I eat a lot of rice, but a couple of people have expressed interest in learning about what else it is that I eat with those heaps of rice. Since I am living in the country, we eat a lot of fish. For breakfast, it is often salted and fried, or dried salted and fried fish, or duck eggs fried with a leafy-green vegetable. The latter is by far my favourite. Lunch and supper are very similar. There is always a soup: fish and greens, beef and potato and carrot, chicken hearts and greens, lily stems and fish… you get the idea. Sometimes there is a fried vegetable, such as green bean, or morning glory, or carrot, other leafy-green vegetables that I don’t know the English name of (I really like the green vegetables), often with a bit of “meat” thrown in for flavour. And often there is another meat dish, such as pork and fried ginger (one of my favourites), or curried frog (surprisingly delicious), or more fish! Most of the food is pretty good; I am certainly not going hungry. However, yesterday we had a soup that was not my favourite. I call it the soup of chewy-rubbery things. It had mushrooms, dried squid, cabbage, and pork skin. I am getting pretty good at selectively scooping vegetables from soup onto my plate, as I’m not a huge meat eater to begin with. I almost got away with yesterday until my host mom dropped a large piece of pork skin into my plate. “Delicious!” she says. On the weekends I accompany my host mother to the market as she buys food for the day. We don’t have a fridge, so most of our food is bought fresh that morning. When there are leftovers, they are re-heated and eaten at the next meal. And anything we don’t eat, the dogs, the cat, and the chickens do. I found out why sometimes we don’t have a lot of vegetables to eat… because there simply aren’t any to be had. This past holiday weekend, the market had a fraction of the people out selling things, and there were very few vegetables or even fish to be had. A lot of vegetables are imported to Cambodia and I guess the bigger cities get first dibs.

But enough about food. Work is going well. I am meeting with some staff next week to come up with a specific plan for research and demonstration on the farm. I am really excited to start implementing this project! They seem to be happy to let me come up with ideas as to what we should grow and what we should research. I really appreciate the independence and responsibility… if only I knew more about what grows when in Cambodia! Hopefully in our meeting next week they will be able to tell me what makes sense and what is not practical. Friday was a lot of fun at work. The power was out all day, so we all spent the day outside tearing down long bean and bitter gourd vines that were finished growing, and replanting the beds with green onions. It was a lot of fun to be out with everyone else, listen to the gossip and laughter (though I couldn’t understand it), and get my hands dirty! I took a bike ride after work in the hour before sunset, and was once again struck by the beauty of Cambodia.

Yours,

Rebecca

Beautiful sunset behind the farm

Admiring a job well done

On my work, things you never hear at home, and chocolate cake

Dear friends and family,

 I want to take some time to tell you a little bit more about my work in Cambodia, especially for the benefit of those who only recently started following my blog. I am volunteering at the Organization to Develop Our Villages (ODOV). ODOV was started in the 90’s by MCC, but “localized” in 2004, meaning that it is completely run by Cambodians now. MCC still funds ODOV and maintains an advisor role to help with things like proposal and grant writing. However, my position at ODOV is much more hands-on. ODOV has numerous community development projects on the go. They organize vocational training for girls (teaching them how to sew), they set up community banks so people can borrow money to start businesses at a very low interest rate, they set up “village model farms” to demonstrate integrated farming and vegetable growing, and they have a demonstration farm. My official title is demonstration farm coordinator. The staff at ODOV is so busy that they have not had time to develop the demonstration farm as fast as new ideas come up. Currently, there is demonstration of climate change related technology (drip irrigation, biogas from pig manure, natural fertilizer/compost…); pig, poultry, and fish raising, and a variety of vegetables. It will be my job this year to add to that. We want to start growing vegetables for seed production- currently seed is purchased from the city, it is costly, and the quality is unreliable. Most farmers only grow rice, and do not want to put the money into growing other plants until they have been tried out. Secondly, we want to start doing some simple experiments on the farm, such as testing out different varieties of plants, different fertilizing methods, different seed-saving methods, intercropping, etc, in an effort to increase the productivity, reduce cost, and be more sustainable. It will be a good learning opportunity for the staff as well as me as I have little experience with agriculture and they have little experience with research. I will also help promote the demonstration farm by improving the presentation to visitors.
I am very excited to see how this year will go! ODOV has a great program and I am very glad to be joining them. I love the quiet village life; already seeing people I know when I go to the market; getting invited to people’s houses. I now get up before 6 AM every day, and turn the lights off around 9:30 PM. It has been great to be with my host family. Everything I ever learned about microbiology, parasitology, and environmental biology told me “DO NOT GO SWIMMING IN THE RIVER IN CAMBODIA.” So guess what I did last week? I went with my family to the river. Well, it wasn’t so much a river as a spillway between two giant lakes created by the rain. Most of the time we sat in the shallow swifter water under the bridge, but then I swam a bit in the calm water. I got a lot of people watching me, not only was I the only foreigner, but I was also the only GIRL who knew how to swim.

There are many things that you would probably never hear at home:

“Honey, this soup isn’t spicy enough. Can you get some chillies from the forest (aka yard)? “

“Ha! The cat fell off the roof into the cistern again!”

“Would you like some sugarcane?” (walks into the backyard with an axe and comes back with sugarcane)

“Help me chase the chicken out of the office!”

“Watch-out for the water-buffalo!”

Another funny anecdote: there are a lot of bare-bummed babies running around in Cambodia. Firstly, this saves enormously on the cost of diapers.  Secondly, they seem to like it. And with this heat, I don’t blame them. My Cambodian brother is 1 ½ years old, and the other day he was running around playing with the puppies. The three puppies at our house are still very young, and are just starting to come out of their hiding place and learn to run and play. It was all fun and games until one of the puppies got hungry and became confused about who was mom, and who was not, much to the surprise of my brother! He ran away with a scream, but all three puppies chased after him. Thankfully, Ma came to the rescue with a pair of shorts!

This weekend I went into Phnom Penh for the monthly MCC team meeting. It was so nice to see everyone again, and eat chocolate cake on my birthday, have pizza, see a traditional Cambodian shadow-puppet show, and pick up my mail. My sister Janet, the world’s best snail-mail correspondent, had sent me an envelope containing several letters dated throughout the summer that she had not had a chance to send until now. The first was supposed to have reached me before I left for Cambodia, but I’m almost glad it didn’t because now I am able to look back on my first two months in Cambodia and see how God is working in my life just like Janet hoped in her letter.

On the subject of letters, I just want to say that I always love to hear from home- I don’t expect reams of snail mail, but if you have a chance to drop me a line on facebook or email (Rebecca.standen@unb.ca) every now and again, it is always appreciated!

Love,
Rebecca

On not eating dog, visiting the market, and tea and kittens

Dear Friends and Family,
As promised, I would like to share with you all a bit about what things are like living in Mesang. For context, Veang village is located in Mesang Disctrict, Prey Veng province, in the south-east corner of Cambodia; and for those of you still not sure, that is in Southeast Asia.  I’m not quite sure how many people live in the town, but it is pretty small. It has one main dirt road with a market, bank, a few places to eat, bike repair shops, school, etc. The roads to get here are terrible, and the roads in town are almost as bad. I live on a small street across from the high school with my host family. I found out yesterday that this is technically a different village, but I forget the name. The father has a government job and is therefore away a lot working in Prey Veng. The mother stays at home with her 1 ½ year old son, who is the cutest kid in the world. We have fun playing together in the evenings. And if you ever thought that a child in North America refusing to eat broccoli was troublesome, well, this kid refuses to eat rice. The younger daughter is slowly getting used to having me around. I enjoy watching TV with her; one of the most popular shows is a Korean drama dubbed in Khmer, but there is enough action that I get the main idea. The older daughter is at school many hours a day studying, but we have had some time to teach each other in the evenings. I still feel like I am a guest here sometimes! I hope that will change soon! I eat all of my meals with my host family which is really nice. But as such, I have eaten rice with every meal for 10 days in a row and counting. Before I had noodles or bread every couple of days to break it up. Despite having so much rice, I enjoy the food for the most part. Ironically enough, the time when I founded it hardest to eat the food was on the holiday celebration last Saturday. The food was all “delicacies” such as pigs liver, stuffed cow intestines, chicken innards fried with ginger… at least they didn’t make me try the dog!

We have had so much rain here this past week that it has been hard to find a good time to get out exploring the town. I’m not sure if my feet are tan or permanently covered in mud.  I’d love to bike around and take pictures one day soon. Speaking of which, my bike was the worse for wear after a 2 hour ride to Mesang on the back of a pickup truck and was making terrible scrapping noises. I was rather proud of myself when I took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it myself!

I went with my host mother to market on Saturday morning. I’m sure glad I didn’t go there the first time by myself. I felt like a little kid hiding behind my mothers’ skirts from the stares of the strangers. She explained who I was to any curious people. Haha. I guess there aren’t too many foreigners who show up to market 7:30 on a Saturday! It was cool to see the market and watch my host mother pick out food for the day. I only know of one other foreigner in the town; a peace corps volunteer teaching English at the high school. Hopefully we’ll be able to meet; it will be nice to have a conversation with someone fluent in English.  

Work has been good but a bit slow this week. Because many of the projects are implemented in villages all over the district, a lot of the staff is gone most of the time. But I have been keeping busy learning more about what ODOV does, reading on sustainable farming, learning Khmer, working on a plan for climate change related research on the demonstration farm. The cook/cleaner has learned I like tea and has placed a fresh pot on my desk every morning. I have fallen in love with the office kitten who regularly comes to sleep on my lap. This week I have also been invited by some of the staff to join in their visits to farmers in other villages. One of ODOV’s big projects is establishing village banks. These village banks allow members to take small loans at a very low interest rate, and profit from the village bank is used for community development and benefits for members. It is a neat process, much like micro financing, but the community members have more ownership and help to keep each other accountable.

This week I also start learning Khmer and teaching English with a couple of students. They are helping me to learn to read. I am helping them with conversation in English. Yesterday we were discussing our respective countries. They were very amused by my attempts at drawing a beaver; and when I described the game of curling, the closest they could understand was “is it like bowling?” I guess that’s close enough.

Ever since coming to Mesang, I have been missing out on my usual morning quiet time that I started when I was in Prey Veng. There doesn’t seem to be time between when I get up, eat, and leave to have a good chunk of time to myself. I have decided to start getting up just before 6. Before coming to Cambodia, that idea would have sounded crazy to me! But what with roosters crowing at 5 AM and work starting around 7:30 AM, I am starting to get used to turning my lights out before 10 PM. Such a change from my usual habits at home! But here is just makes sense to be up when it is light out, not to mention that the morning is nice and cool and the bugs are the worst at night.

Even though my journaling and quiet times have been sporadic this past week, God has shown me some amazing things through my brief glimpses at his word.

Before coming to Cambodia, my small group in Fredericton spent an evening discussing spiritual gifts. One of the women in the group said I had the gift of joy, an ability to find joy in the Lord alone, even when I am not around other believers. I think I’ll really be needing that gift this year! Joy can be lost in loneliness, quenched by sadness of the corruption and poverty that is all around, hard to find when you feel so far from home. But I was encouraged by this verse from 1 Peter 1:8 “Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy.” This verse put such a smile on my face and laughter in heart this morning. I think I’ve mentioned before how happy I feel here. Happy in a way I can’t explain, knowing how far out of my comfort zone I thought this experience would be. New experiences and change are good. They make you stop and think about life, the universe, and everything; a process which is eye-opening, humbling, sometimes a bit uncomfortable, but always rewarding and a chance for growth. Please pray that God would continue to help me discover new and greater joy in this year of newness and change!

Blessings,

Rebecca

My new house in Mesang

Don't worry dad, I always wear my helmet when I ride.